What makes a wedding special, unique, personal today?

1.Number #1 quality is the ATTITUDE OF THE BRIDE:
You can tell in the first 5 minutes whether she sees herself as the star or the host.

Will this be an elaborate event, a pricey show or an unforgettable experience, warm and welcoming?

3.The SPIRIT OF YOUR FAMILY AND WEDDING PARTY: Do they see themselves as your co-celebrants or as self-conscious back-up stage-hands?

4.The BEHAVIOR OF YOUR HIRED VENDORS: esp. the location staff, musicians, caterers, & photographers: just there to make some money or there to help you create a lovely thank you for those whose love for you taught you how to love yourselves and one another?

To Mean a Meaningful “I Do”

This simple, practical 60-page guidebook offers many tips for the modern bride–usually an adult and often a professional–with your planning. It was written, after celebrating some 2000 weddings in 55 years (and loving almost everyone of them!) as the 7 billion dollar wedding industry began to take over the American wedding, and the average cost skyrocketed toward $50,000 each and more importantly, the event lost much of its meaning and magic, slipping from unique and sacred to cookie-cutter imitation. Money can’t buy meaning or memories!

With a little help from my friends: 55 of my favorite creative brides agreed to reflect on their own weddings of 10 to 30 years earlier and tell me what worked at their wedding and what they would do differently with 20-20 hindsight. Their wedding wisdom and insight provide the content of this booklet to help you make your own wedding truly yours, an expression of your dreams, a reflection of your heart and soul.

You will no doubt discover that organizing your wedding will be one of the most delightful and stressful, rewarding and important things you will ever do. We often tease brides: “If you can survive the wedding, the marriage will be relatively easy.” Sometimes, I like to close the ceremony: “Thank you for coming to the wedding—please stay for the marriage!” (Actually getting your guests involved—and not just as spectators—is a great way to make your celebration extra special.)

To Mean a Meaningful “I Do”

Together with graduate degrees in communication (UCBerkeley) and spirituality (Gregorian, Rome) and counseling (USF), marriage and family counseling has been much of my life. Preparing couples for marriage and witnessing their celebrations of love have been among my greatest joys!

The wedding industry and hired vendors—like the photographer who takes the bride and groom away from their family and wedding guests for a few photo ops (really to sell more pictures) or the DJ whose cutesy announcements and intros can turn a beautiful sacred drama into a Junior High sock-hop—not so much!

IT’S YOUR WEDDING—NOT THEIRS is available from Amazon. If not, I still have a couple of copies in the garage we can send you when you write or call:


Email: [email protected]
Address: 428 Greenbrier Rd., Half Moon Bay, CA 94019
Phone: 650-726-7976

Meanwhile, many blessings on your wedding and mostly on your marriage!